5 Responses to “Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters for DVD”

1. Maine Writer 10/03/09 21:09

   

   No doubt, some people will tell you they liked this movie. Some will be folks in their forties desperately trying to be hip … the pseudo-intelligentsia. From them, you’ll probably hear things like, “Ooh. So random. So surreal. You just need to experience it. There’s no way I could possibly explain it. It’s a commentary on the mindless emptiness of suburbia. Oooooh.” Don’t listen to them. From the younger crowd, you might hear, “Our parents would never understand this. It was SOOOOO funny. So random. It’s so cool that fast food can talk! We’re all made of meat!” Don’t listen to them either.

   I’ve walked out of films before. They were films I should never have gone to see in the first. Santa Clause 2 springs to mind. None were as bad as this incredibly unfunny — and ultimately boring beyond description — piece of garbage.

   Now, I watched the show on television a few years back. I thought it had a silly charm in its off the wall and oftentimes surreal stupidity. However, there’s really none of that charm in this waste of film. After a fairly funny start — a spoof of a theatrical lead in about what you shouldn’t be doing in the theater — it quickly dives to the bottom. Its cultural references are mediocre; its attempts at gross-out humor boring. Sometimes, people who are stoned off their gourds can be funny. Other times, they can only put together things that appear funny to them … and no one else. This falls squarely into the latter category. (No question the people who made this were on drugs. I would like to know what they are so I could avoid them. Ketamine maybe?)

   I like offbeat humor a lot. Humor has no place in a description of this horrendous mess.

   I’d see the remake of the Wicker Man again before I’d see this. In fact, I’d have a root canal to avoid watching this movie.

   Rating: 1 / 5

2. carnage 10/03/09 22:45

   

   There is currently a lot of controversy about Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters for DVD and I know that any review on the subject will almost certainly cause someone to distort the facts. Still, the film makes no sense at all.

   Anyone associated with the creation and production of this film must sense its own irremediable inferiority. That’s why fans are so desperate to promote, foster, and institute it; it’s the only way for the fans to distinguish themselves from the herd.

   Why do fans consistently refuse to acknowledge that Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters for DVD descends from a long line of jackbooted, reprehensible sociopaths who like to subvert time-tested societal norms?

   The creators of this film can’t possibly believe that clever one-liners are a valid substitute for actual thinking. You really have to see it to believe how god-awful it is.
   Rating: 1 / 5

3. K. Neal 10/03/09 23:13

   

   I love the show Aqua Teen Hunger Force, but this movie is just awful. The idea works for a 15 minute show, but NOT for a 2 hour movie. There were no jokes in this movie that were funnier than jokes in the normal episodes. It simply tried too hard (the terribly unfunny title, Colon Movie Film for Theatres (Wow! Congratulations, you’re self aware!–NOT FUNNY), is proof enough of this).

   Stick to the episodes; for the love of god, skip this movie.
   Rating: 1 / 5

4. Suzette Nelson 10/03/10 00:32

   

   I was watching this with my brother and we had no idea what the hell was going on after around 10 minutes of the movie and turned it off, it was horrible. The tv show is great but the movie sucks. Don’t waste your time with this.
   Rating: 1 / 5

5. Roland E. Zwick 10/03/10 02:43

   

   *1/2

   There’s probably no point in trying to describe “Aqua Teens Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters for DVD” to anyone who hasn’t already seen it or who is unfamiliar with the TV series on which it is based. Suffice it to say, the story centers on the highly surrealistic adventures of three anthropomorphized animated characters: a milkshake, a meatball and a floating order of fries who try to save the world from an assortment of villains bent on its destruction. I kid you not.

   If creativity alone made for a quality film, “ATHFCMFFTFD” would be a masterpiece. (The title alone should secure it a place in movie infamy. It makes “Dr. Strangelove”’s full title seem positively curt and restrained in comparison). As it is, however, the film feels like something somebody came up with while tripping out on some really bad LSD. And indeed if one were actually ON acid while watching it, the movie might possibly be funny. Stone-cold sober, however, one can only sit in poker-faced silence marveling at the fact that there must actually be an audience somewhere out there for this thing. With its bawdy humor, foul-mouthed language and (sometimes admirable) political incorrectness, it clearly isn’t intended for young children (parents beware). In fact, its post-modern detachment and minimalist animation (as well as the title) suggest that its target audience is young adolescents feeling their first stirrings of rebellion and puberty, a time when even the most commonplace, unsophisticated vulgarity can seem forbidden, hilarious and daring.

   The movie borrows much of its style from animated hits like “The Simpsons,” “Beavis and Butthead,” and “South Park,” the only difference being that those works are actually funny while this is not. One word of advice: if you do plan on watching this, make sure to do so with the subtitles turned on. That is the only way to get all of the dialogue which, thanks to the intense mumbling of the characters, is about 50% incomprehensible otherwise. On second thought, given the quality of the writing, missing half of what is being said may not be such a bad thing after all.
   Rating: 1 / 5